


When you're in too deep it seems easier to just swim down

by lesbianpeaches



Series: Dumb Maria/Peggy aus I come up with [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angelica is a bitch, Angst, Bullying, F/F, James Reynolds is a dick, Maria Lewis not Reynolds, Peggy is smol, Self Harm, There will be fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 08:09:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7426915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianpeaches/pseuds/lesbianpeaches
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shits about to go down</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Angelica and Eliza the Schuyler sisters, and the boys they hung out with were the it crowd, everyone wanted to be them or to be their friend even their own little sister wanted them to at least remember she was part of the family.  
The first time a kid tripped Peggy was when she was trying to talk to Angie, she wanted her to give her a ride back to their house because she hated riding the bus and if Angie gave Eliza a ride back home then why not her too. Before her voice could even reach her sister’s ears she stumbled over something, she looked back to see what it was as she turned around she was slammed into some lockers “look kid, Angelica doesn’t want to talk to a fucking freak like you” the boy snarled in her ear “now move along fat ass” tears welled in her eyes.  
Standing outside her house soaking wet and shivering from walking home in the rain, and with sore knuckles and a hoarse voice after trying to get in. She called Eliza she heard her other sister’s laugh “what do you want Peggy” Angelica asked impatiently “could you let me in I left my keys in the house” she heard laughs from the other end of the phone “haha sis very funny you’re in your room” Peggy furrowed her eyebrows “no I’m not I’m at the front door, please Angie I’m really cold” she heard a sigh “fine”. After five more minutes of standing on her own doorstep the door opened revealing her sisters “where were you Peggy? Dad’s gonna kill you when he finds out and what happened to you, you’re a mess?” Fiddling with her signature oversized yellow jumper “I walked home, I didn’t want to take the bus and I couldn’t find you guys to see if you could give me a ride home, so I walked and it rained and please don’t tell dad” Peggy watched her oldest sister roll her eyes at her “fine but you own us” nodding rapidly Peggy stepped inside and ran up to her room.  
She thought of the boy in the hall’s words he was right she was fat and her sister probably didn’t want to talk her even though they were family, right? Taking off her wet clothes as she looked for pjs, she looked at herself in the mirror. Her thighs were too thick, she had too much of a stomach, now noticing all of her self acclaimed flaws she ran into the bathroom that was attached onto her room, looked the door and pulled out a razor blade. 

The first time Peggy ran the blade over her thigh, she felt release slicing into the skin on her thighs a couple of times more she cleaned the razor then hid it, running cold water over her thighs in the bath, she dried them off and put her pyjamas on. 

The new student Maria Lewis walked through the doors of her new school schedule in hand. She looked around and saw a girl in an oversized pastel yellow jumper standing on her own, who looked very approachable so she walked over to her. 

Peggy felt a presence next to her, she looked up and saw the most beautiful girl she had ever seen. “Hey, I’m new and I was wondering if you could show me around” the girl was the definition of confidence “sure, can I see your schedule so I know where you’re going” Peggy asked nodding “we have similar classes, you don’t have all your classes with me but I can still show you around” Peggy paused “Maria, it says on the sheet” Peggy blushed looking at the page “it’s fine so what’s your name?” Before Peggy could answer, the same boy from the hall strolled up to the girls “hey hot stuff you new here?” The boy asked Maria who was clearly uninterested but being polite answered him “yeah” the boy smirked “I’m James, James Reynolds, What’s your name?” Maria smiled, desperately wanting to get back to talking to the shy girl “Maria” James nodded “hey, some friendly advice don’t hang out with fatso over here, I mean unless you want to be a loner just like her go ahead but trust me you should hang out with people in your own league gorgeous” Maria looked over to the shy girl who had seemed to find the floor the most interesting thing in the world and was fiddling with her sleeves “I’m good thanks” Peggy’s head shot up looking at the other girl in surprise “look babe I’m just trying to do you a favour before you commute social suicide by hanging out with that freak” Maria scoffed “one, I am not your ‘babe’, two I don’t hang out with asshats like you, and three you better get the fuck out of my face before I kick you in the nuts so hard they end up in your throat because of the way you’re talking to my friend” James ran back to his friends who were laughing as the boy returned to the group. The bell rang signalling the start of classes, “wait before we go to class I never got your name” Maria smiled “it’s Margarita but people call me Peggy” Peggy that’s a pretty name Maria thought to herself not realising she said it out loud “thanks” Peggy said blush evident on her cheeks.


	2. Chapter 2

For weeks now Peggy had been starving herself, avoiding meals, only having small pieces of fruit for lunch, Maria was starting to worry about her friend. Maria found Peggy’s oldest sister Angelica, “has Peggy been, you know eating in the house?” Maria asked trying to keep anyone from hearing their conversation “who the hell are you? And what the fuck are you talking about?” Angelica asked confused “I’m Maria, and your little sister, Peggy, has she been eating in the house? I’m just worried for her” Angelica scoffed at the other girl “look I don’t keep track of what she eats, if you ask me she could stand to lose the weight, she’s a bit on the chubby side” Peggy just walked round the corner to see Maria talking to her sister. Great she thought to herself my only friend is talking to my sister, she’s going to leave me to hang out with them, Peggy didn’t realise that she was crying until she felt the hot steams trickling down her cheeks, she ran off before Maria could see her. Meanwhile, Angelica invited Maria to sit with her and her friends “I don’t see Peggy anywhere, why don’t you come and sit me and my friends” Maria looked around nervously for Peggy before sighing “sure” Angelica smiled and grabbed the other girl’s hand to lead her to where her friends were sitting. Her hand felt wrong in Maria’s, Angelica’s didn’t fit perfectly in her’s like Peggy’s did, Maria would have stopped but she was tugged along by Angelica did she really just think about holding her best friend’s hand.   
Eliza noticed her sister and the other girl walking over to their table, “hey guys, this is Maria” Angelica’s voice snapped the couples out of their bubbles “Maria this is Alexander” Angelica signalling to the boy with the long hair in another boy’s lap “that’s John, Alexander’s boyfriend” John smiled at the girl before turning his attention back to the boy in his lap “that’s Hercules” the boy with the beanie nodded and twisted a strand of the boy next to him’ large hair around his fingers “and that’s Lafayette, he’s Hercules’ boyfriend and he’s French” the boy jumped up, taking Maria’s hand and kissed it “bonjour mademoiselle” Hercules gave Maria a look of jealously before the French boy sat back down in his chair and kissed his boyfriend’s cheek.   
Peggy sat alone outside near the back of the school, she saw a group of boys walking immediately recognising the group as James Reynolds and his friends. She stood up as quickly and quietly as she could and tried to walk away, but she stepped on a twig that snapped and brought the boy’ attention to her. Trying to walk the opposite way from the group approaching her, she bumped in to something, looking up to see a boy towering over her, she turned to run away but the boy held her in place by her shoulders.   
“Well, well, well, what are you doing out here alone freak? Where’s your ‘friend’ now?” James smirked at her “I bet she ditched you, that bitch finally has some sense-” “you mean that bitch who threatened you and made you run off like a little girl” one of the boys in James’ group interrupted, slapping the boy on the back of his he turned his attention back to Peggy “as I was saying, no wonder I mean I wouldn’t want to hang out with a ugly, fat and useless freak like you” Peggy felt his words sting, fresh tears pricked her cheeks “do you know where that slut is? Or are you stupid as well and don’t know” James turned around waiting for his answer “Maria isn’t a slut” he scoffed at the girl, he gripped her hair causing Peggy to wince “what did you say” yanking her head up “go on what did you say or are you deaf as well as stupid” Peggy mumbled something inaudible, James moved closer, Peggy kneed the boy where it hurts the most, causing him to release the vice grip on her hair and double over in pain “I said, Maria is not a slut, unlike you, you man whore” oh no that was bad why did she have to do that “boys you know what to do” James said with a smirk three boys stayed behind obeying James’ command and the rest walked away.   
Luckily Peggy had her keys with her so she wouldnt need her sisters to let her in the house, and she had make up with her so she could cover up the black eye and other bruises on her face neck and hands before lunch ended. In her last classes she sat away from Maria, ignoring the look of hurt on her face as she sat down next to James Madison, Thomas Jefferson’s boyfriend, he was nice enough to Peggy but didn’t talk to her. In her last class of the week there were only two empty seats, her usual seat next to Maria, and one at the back of the class next to Theodosia, she went with the seat that wasn’t her usual. After the bell rang Peggy packed her stuff away as quickly as she could just as she was about to leave the classroom, she felt a hand on her shoulder “Peggy, why are you ignoring me” Peggy scoffed “you don’t have to pretend to care Maria, I don’t need your fucking pity” Maria’s eyebrows furrowed at the girl’s statement “oh don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about, I saw you talking to my sister, it’s fine go hang out with them, no one wants to be seen with a fucking freak like me. I’m used to it but it fucking hurts, because I actually thought we were friends Maria, but no it’s fine enjoy being popular and having normal friends I’ll see you around Maria” Maria opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out “Peggy” Maria called out but the other girl ignored her. She ran forward and grabbed Peggy’s arm causing the girl to wince. “Peggy, where’s this coming from?” Peggy twisted her arm free “was it James Reynolds? What did he say to you? I’ll kill him, I swear. What he says is bullshit, Peggy don’t listen to him” Maria noticed Peggy’s tears and pulled the smaller girl into a hug. Maria had the urge to kiss Peggy, Peggy knew she liked Maria not just in a friends, she wanted to call Maria her girlfriend but knew that wouldn’t happen.   
Maria leaned in and kissed Peggy, just as Maria was about to pull away Peggy kissed her back, once air became an issue the girls pulled away, lightheaded and hearts racing. Maria was that first to speak “you like me too?” Maria asked in disbelief “of course I do” Peggy giggled “I was wondering, if you maybe wanted to be my girlfriend?” Maria asked nervously “I’d love to” Peggy said before pecking her girlfriend on the lips, God she never thought she could say that the Maria Lewis was her girlfriend.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shits about to go down

Maria and Peggy ran inside to avoid getting wetter than they already were. "Come on my room's this way" Peggy said while dragging her girlfriend up the stairs.

While Peggy was digging around in her wardrobe for a change of clothes for her and Maria, while Maria was looking around her room taking in the posters on the wall to her desks. "I didn't know you played the uke" Maria turned round ukulele in hand, Peggy had a pair of joggers and a yellow t-shirt thrown over her shoulders "yeah I do, anyway I have some spare clothes for you" pulling the shirt and joggers off her shoulder and placing them on the bed "thanks babe, can you play me something on your ukulele when we dry off and heat up" a muffled 'yeah' came from the other side of the room. When Peggy turned round with a difference pair of joggers and t-shirt in hand she saw a shirtless Maria, Maria heard a soft thud "babe, wha-what are you doing" giggling at her flustered girlfriend "I'm getting changed, I mean we're both girls so it's not like it's nothing we haven't seen." Seeing her girlfriend standing there staring at her she put her hands on her hips "Peggy get out of the wet clothes, you're gonna get sick and if you do then no kisses until you get better" Peggy's shoulders dropped "fine, but you have to turn around" Maria's face softened "baby you're so incredibly beautiful, you don't need to hide" heart fluttering at Maria's words, Peggy sighed "please babe can you just turn around" Maria held her hands up surrendering and turned to face the wall decorationed with yellow paint and posters of Doctor who, Supernatural, fall out boy, twenty øne piløts and other bands. Peggy grimaced as she pulled off her damp jeans to see the angry scars scattered across both of her thighs hearing a gasp Peggy looked up "Peggy what are those?" Peggy keeped her gaze trained on the messy floor of her bedroom "baby, please look at me" hearing the crack in Maria's voice she knew she was crying. Peggy looked up "why, Peggy why" Maria's voice cracked again which she ignored and continued "please, why didn't you tell me, please Peggy say something" Peggy walked over to Maria and wiped the tears with the pad of her thumb "I'm sorry" Peggy's weak voice rang "I didn't want to be a burden to you" Maria's head snapped up " you are not a burden to me, you never will Peggy, I love you so fucking much, and I never want to lose you" Peggy was shocked "y-you love me" a teary laugh came from Maria "of course I do, how could I not, you're so beautiful, you're so sweet, your eyes I could stare into forever and I could listen to your laugh forever as well" wrapping the smaller girls in her arms Maria tenderly kissing her forehead, "promise you won't do it again" she felt Peggy nod, Maria smiled "come you put on your joggers and we'll go and get some soup, if you guys have any" Peggy pulled the joggers up her legs "I'm not hungry" Peggy stated "what" Maria's eyebrows furrowed "I said-" cutting of her girlfriend "I know what you said" this time Peggy's eyebrows furrowed "I had a big lunch" Peggy knew Maria saw the size of her lunch hopefully she would let it slid, Maria scoffed Peggy sighed internally today just wasn't her day "you and I both know damn well you didn't Peggy, so don't you dare lie to me." Looking at her feet, Peggy felt the urge to scream until her voice was hoarse and she couldn't scream anymore. "Peggy" hearing her name Peggy looked up "why aren't you eating?" Peggy hated all the questions "because I'm fat Maria, that's why, I know you'll tell me I'm not but I am!" Peggy's hard breathing was all that Maria could hear besides the echo of her girlfriend's self doubting words in her ear "do you have scales?" The question confused Peggy "of course I do it's in the bathroom" Maria nodded "can you bring them in here?" Maria asked, nodding Peggy headed into the bathroom. Returning after a couple of minutes with the scales in hand, she placed it on the floor "I want you to weigh yourself pegs" at her girlfriend's words she gingerly stepped onto the scales '98 lbs' flashed onto the screen Maria saw this "babe please, this isn't healthy, you weigh less than my little sister and she's 14 and you're 17" Peggy stepped off of the scales, Maria stepped on, the screen read '123 lbs' Maria turned round "are you calling me fat then pegs?" Peggy was confused "what no, of course I'm not Mar Mar" Peggy's hand came to cup Maria's cheek "because I weigh more than you Pegs" Peggy's head dropped "Pegs, you're beautiful and so is your body I don't give a shit if you weigh more than me or less than me all that I care is that you're healthy and safe and by my side because I don't think I can love anyone as much as I love you Peggy and I want to be with you and help you and cheer you up when you're sad and be able to call you mine" Maria looked into her girlfriend's eyes. Peggy pulled Maria into a kiss that burned with passion and love, scattering kisses over Maria's face and after every kiss she would say 'I love you'. "Peggy, can we go down and get some soup, cause I'm hungry and a still a bit cold, I want you to eat some you don't have to eat all of it but more than one spoonful, can you do that for me?" Peggy gulped "I'll try, for you Mar Mar" Maria jumped up and clapped "lead the way". 

Down in the kitchen, Maria had finished her soup and Peggy was half way through her's. Peggy had promised herself she would eat all of it for Maria, Maria took her free hand and squeezed it "you don't have to eat all it of it if you don't want to" Peggy shook her head "no I want to". After several more spoonfuls Peggy had finished her soup "I'm proud of you Pegs" Peggy smiled "you've got a promise to keep, come on" Maria stood up tugging Peggy behind her "what promise?" Giggling, Maria answered "you said you would play me something on your ukulele" raising one eyebrow Peggy stopped "did I now" turning round, looping her arms around Peggy's neck "yes you did" placing her hands on Maria's hips "I might need some persuading there" sighing Maria leaned and kissed Peggy, pulling away breathless "is that enough persuasion" Peggy nodded dumbly and followed Maria back to her room. 

Sitting on her bed back against the wall, with her legs crossed and across from Maria she began to play the familiar melody and began singing. Peggy had closed her eyes so Maria had pulled her phone out and recorded Peggy playing can't help falling in love with you "are you filming me?" Maria nodded giggling Peggy finished the song "but I can't help falling in love with you" 

The end


End file.
